The Greening of Peter Mandelson & Hoon ‘hooned’ – arrrested update

6th March

Mandelson slimed6th March
Green custard was this morning thrown in the face of the Labour governments Business Secretary, Peter Mandelson by Plane Stupid activist Leila Deen. The former Northern Ireland Secretary was accosted moments after stepping out of his limo to attend a so-called ‘low-carbon’ summit in London. In full view of the assembled TV cameras he got a face full of custard and hurried inside. Leila then explained to the cameras that the action had been over Mandelsons unelected and undemocratic role in granting permission for Heathrows third runway on behalf of the business community.

Mandleson referred to the incident as an ‘adolescent protest’. He joked, “I suppose in a democracy people are entitled to have their say but I would rather people said it to my face rather than throw it. I am prepared to take my fair share of the green revolution on my shoulders but I am less keen on having it in my face.”

When interviewed later on the BBC Leila Deen described the move as a “last resort” after the democratic process failed. She said that Mandelson was an unelected politician and he was siding with the “interests of business” rather than the “interests of the people and the planet” in backing the new runway.

She justified the “direct action” as the best way of bringing about change, claiming she and others were excluded from the democratic process. “When democracy is failing you have to resort to any means necessary as long as it is peaceful and does not harm other human beings,” she said.

She continued, “Peter Mandelson is the same person who effectively bullied Ed Miliband and other members of the cabinet to accept a third runway that nobody wants, a third runway that no one was consulted on and no one is able to say no to. It’s not right that someone like Peter Mandelson can stand up and talk about being green.”

Leila Deen, 29, said:

“That such a clearly corrupt human being is still in government, despite being unelected, is an affront to democracy and a threat to any hope we have of stopping the impact that climate change is already beginning to have on our lives. We have a tiny window left to stop climate change. I want to tell my children that I did not stand back and applaud as Mandelson ruined our last chance.”

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March 5th 2009

Hoon ‘hooned’ in silly stunt

Geoff Hoon woke up yesterday and went out to give a speech to the Royal Society about the many solutions to aviation and climate change. The solution, of course, is to let everyone fly as much as they like, because technology would save us. Technology and the Emissions Trading Scheme, which, as he reminded his audience, is a real and effective cap on aviation emissions in Europe…

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

The Secretary of State was cut off in mid-flow, as a loud honking noise blared out across the room. Up popped a young woman who apologised for making a racket. She’d rather foolishly forgotten to turn off her lie detector horn, which had picked up on Hoon’s rather blatant fibbing. It wouldn’t happen again, she promised.

Of course it did; other people in the audience had brought their lie detectors and these kept sounding as Hoon tried to give his speech. If only, he thought to himself, I’d remembered to tell the truth, instead of a bunch of nonsense that sounded good when Flying Matters told it to me. Maybe these silly stunts have a purpose after all…

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Update: Leila Deen, Custard Queen, Arrested

8th March
London activist Leila Deen was arrested Saturday for throwing green custard over government minister Peter Mandelson on Friday to protest at his undemocratic involvement in the decision to Heathrow airport. She received a text message and phone call from the police to inform her she was to be arrested for common assault. After being interviewed she was released without charge, and bailed to return on the 9th of April.

Lelia had managed to avoid security outside the Royal Society on Friday morning where Mandleson he was due to attend a co-called ‘low-carbon’ summit in London. After Leila threw the custard over him, Mandleson rushed inside the building dripping with green goo. About five minutes later he returned to face the media with some hastily prepared damage control ‘wit’.

There is conflicting information on whether Mandelson had made a complaint or whether the police were obliged to investigate the incident without a formal complaint being made. Lelia said that the police had been told that they had to take action although Mandelson had apparently not made a formal complaint but some of the mainstream media reports suggested that Mandelson had now mad a complaint. Mandelson was also reported as saying he was surprised that his attacker “could just saunter off without being apprehended”.